How to Rescue a Dead Princess by Jeff Strand

Author:Jeff Strand
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Science Fiction/Fantasy
Publisher: www.HardShell.com
Published: 2001-06-29T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

Pre-Chapter-Seventeen Excitement

“YOU CAN'T be serious!” Randall said. “An attempt on the king's life now is suicidal! We'll be captured for sure!”

“I know what you're going to say,” said Roderick. “You're going to tell me that an attempt on the king's life now is suicidal, and that we'll be captured for sure.”

“That's what I did say,” Randall told him.

“Oh. Sorry, I was a little distracted. No, this is the perfect moment to strike! The guards will be so concerned with the escaping prisoners that they won't be watching the king's chambers as closely! And we've got hostages!”

Jack cleared his throat, “I wasn't going to say anything, but since you brought up the hostage situation, I was just wondering if I could leave, being redundant and all.”

“No.”

“Is that no meaning yes, or no meaning no? Hard to tell sometimes.”

Roderick gave him a dirty look, then proceeded down the tunnel. The others followed, Jack and Randall both with knives pressed against their backs.

“Here's the plan,” said Roderick. “We go to the trap-door underneath the king's bedroom. Rick, you'll stay down in the tunnel, while Maverick and I take Randall and ... your name is?”

“Jack.”

“Nice name. We'll take Randall and Jack up there with us. Maverick and I will flip a dvorkin, and the winner gets to go over and kill the king. Then we'll hurry back down into the tunnel, go back to our lair, and celebrate with bottled water and croutons. I mean it, Jack, that's a really nice name. Simple. Precise.”

“Why do all four of us need to be up there?” Randall asked.

“Because if there are guards waiting, we need hostages to distract them with,” said Roderick.

“That would be you and Jack,” Maverick explained.

“What if the flipped dvorkin wakes up the king?” Jack asked.

“Then we'll just have to kill him a little more quickly.”

“Why not just flip it before you go up into the bedroom?”

“Do I tell you how to do your job?” Roderick demanded.

“No ... not that I recall...”

“Then shut up.”

A few minutes later, they stopped underneath the trap-door labeled “The King's Bedroom.” Roderick reached up, unhooked the latch, and the door swung downward. He retrieved a ladder that was resting against the wall and braced it firmly against the edge of the opening.

“Only one person on the ladder at a time, for safety's sake,” he whispered, as he began to climb.

After Roderick had made it to the top, Maverick prodded Randall with the dagger. Randall climbed up the ladder as well, and found himself in the center of the king's immense lavatory.

“Trap-door was mislabeled,” Roderick grumbled.

“I like those little soap animals,” Randall commented.

Jack emerged from the trap-door. “You mean to tell me the king sleeps amongst his chamber pots? How twisted!”

“Quiet,” said Roderick. “We're in the wrong room is all. Once Maverick gets up here, we'll all head over to the bedroom together.”

There was a loud snap down below, then a loud crunch that sounded suspiciously like Maverick's body slamming down upon the hard floor of the tunnel. They all rushed over to the trap-door and peered downward.

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